Dark Shadows looks so wonderful on the screen as Director Tim Burton uses his regular Oscar winning alumni: Rick Heinrick's sets and Colleen Attwood‘s costumes its just a shame that he didn't give his starring actors a better movie to be in, and us a better one to watch. As a Brit I have no idea if Mr Burton was trying too hard to be faithful to the cult hit daytime series that ran on US TV from 1966 to 1971, or just trying too hard period. The result is a somewhat disappointing shambles of a gothic horror comedy movie that instead of provoking fear in us or making us laugh out loud, just makes for the occasional titter, but more often than not, a very long yawn.
In case you don't know the plot: in 1760, Barnabas who’s a wealthy playboy in the small town in Maine that his family created, breaks the heart of Angelique a servant girl who happens to be a witch. After Barnabas rejects her, she kills his parents in revenge and curses his family. Angelique, in an act of jealousy, puts a spell on his lover Josette du Pres which forces her to leap to her death from a nearby cliff called Widow's Peak. Barnabas jumps after her over the cliff to kill himself, but Angelique has already turned him into a vampire before he reaches the bottom. Soon after she convinces the townspeople that as he is now a vampire they should capture him and bury him alive in a chained coffin in the woods.
Flash forward to 1972,
and an assorted bunch of Barnabas’s weird ancestors are still living in the
family mansion along with an alcoholic psychiatrist who had been hired to help
David the youngest deal with his demons, but she spends most of her time with own her demons in a bottle. Barnabas is accidently resurrected and comes to rescue
the family and save their dwindling fortune as their business has been almost
ran out of town by Angelique who is still doing her hocus pocus but this time
from a very fancy sports car she spirits around in.
Oh yes, Josette re-appears too in the
shape of the family nanny, but she, Barnabas, and the family have to go through
hell and back if they are ever to have any chance to break the centuries old
curse and live happily ever after.
A very young looking Johnny Depp in Michael Jackson make-up camps up the role of Barnabas evoking a few laughs but
mainly bewilderment. His highly mannered performance is a tad too nuanced this
time around. Like his take on Captain
Sparrow in the Pirate movie franchise : great fun at first but wearing thin by
the second installment. Yet on the other hand Miss Bonham-Carter in her
ridiculous drunken role wearing her fiery red drag queen wig was the best thing
on the screen. There are subtle shades
of camp that do work.
By the time the tiresome extended ‘fight’
scene between the vampires happened towards the movie's end I had completely lost my patience in exactly the same way that Mr
Burton had already lost the plot, and I just couldnt wait for the final credits to hit the screen
I will admit that I started watching this
trying to keep awake because I had been travelling the day before, but by the end it was a real battle not to fall into a
deep sleep as I just hankered after my bed and sweet dreams.
★★★★★
★★★★★
