A more apt title for this preposterous and painfully
unfunny comedy would be ‘Lost in Translation’.
Based on a best selling novel by Richard C. Morais this new movie from
the Oscar nominated king of syrupy schmaltz Lasse Hallstrom (‘Cider House Rules’
& ‘Chocolat’) and produced by Oprah Winfrey and Stephen Spielberg must have
seemed like a fantastic idea on paper as they managed to persuade none other
than Oscar Winner Helen Mirren to be their very uncomfortable looking star. After
filming this very inane and somewhat patronizing piece she could only have only
ended up asking the same question as we do now i.e. whatever possessed her!
The story is of an Indian family who have to leave
Mumbai in a hurry when their restaurant is destroyed and the matriarch is killed
after a political uprising. They seek asylum in London and settle in a cramped
home next to Heathrow Airport right under the flight path. However its not the fact that they can almost
touch the planes as they land that drives them out, but the cold and damp English
climate, and they set off in a dilapidated camper van to warmer climes of
France.
When their van breaks down outside
Saint-Antonin-Noble-Vala small picturesque one-street village in the middle of
nowhere, Father espies an empty restaurant for sale that he deems will be
perfect for the family to establish their new Indian Restaurant. This village evidently
only has one other eating establishment (other than the café where everyone has
breakfast) and this is smack opposite their new venue. It is in fact just a hundred feet from their
front door. This very popular fine
dining establishment, which possess a coveted Michelin star, and a fancy Chef, is
run by a chauffeured driven Grand Dame who, for some inexplicable reason, is
paranoid about the new competition from a fast-food Indian eatery run by a
cook.
The rivalry is petty and too silly for words and is as
ridiculous as the silly French accent of the English speaking Madame
Mallory. After a chance encounter Hassan
the Indian cook falls in love with Marguerite a sous chef who works for Madame
and she encourages him to read a recipe book about fine French cuisine. Then after a few attempts at re-creating
classic dishes and before you can say Julia Childs he is a cordon-bleu chef
and immediately deserts his family to work for Madame herself. Next stop for him is Paris and an even
fancier restaurant where as Chef de Cuisine he becomes an overnight sensation
winning more Michelin stars with easy.
However fame and success isn’t everything for Hassan
and as he misses his family he hurries back to Madame‘s country restaurant
where he can get the taste of both Marguerite and fresh local produce once
again.
This rather innocuous tale with its racist overtones
is an excruciating 2 hours long and has no redeeming features other than the
location of the small town, and the rather scrumptious food.
